Harry Potter, Inspector Gadget & HotWheels

If you haven’t heard yet, Bryant Wilder is out of retirement! As his announcement made clear, as of January 3rd, he was retired, and as of January 22nd, he was back to work. We knew he couldn’t sit for long, but really Dad? I guess I’m just mad I have to find a replacement babysitter. LOL

Retirement for my dad, though short lived, was met with great expectation and excitement. For many millennials however, the thought is dark and looming. While we are certainly anxious for a day where we don’t have to get up for work any longer, we definitely can’t be sure what awaits us on the other side. Just peep the Google headlines: “Millennials and retirement: how bad is it?,” “What the Reinvention of Retirement means for Millennials,” and ironically, “Will Social Security Still Be There When Millennials Retire?”.

Don’t worry, Ma and Pops say “Yes!” Social Security, apparently, isn’t going anywhere. But regardless of how we feel about retirement, we have a long way to go anyway. Here’s what I’ve learned as a millennial from a Boomer who’s worked tirelessly for 38 years at the same organization.

Bryant Wilder is no ordinary man. He went from a Clerical Typist at a local office in the Bronx to the Deputy Regional Commissioner for all of New York, New Jersey and Puerto Rico. All the while, creating and producing music, writing and performing comedy shows and skits, putting on concerts, teaching himself how to use all kinds of software and build all kinds of things, and still having time to make homemade waffles whenever his girls asked. These are all things most know, here are the things I know…

I don’t recall the age(s), but every night he would sit on my bed and read Harry Potter to me until I fell asleep. While most Christian parents banned JK Rowling literature from their homes, my Dad saw the value of her writing for a blossoming imagination and expanding vocabulary. If you know him, you know he likes big words. He’s quite the sesquipedalian, if you ask him. He taught me early the importance of knowing words and using them correctly in context and conversation. Rowling not only utilized words useful to adolescents, but she made some up herself as an advocate for the power of creativity. I can’t speak for all 38 years, but I can speak for the 25 that I’ve known him, Bryant Wilder has always proven that few things are more powerful than an expanding vocabulary and a creative mind.

A memory I’ll never forget is when we spent an entire day going from McDonald’s to McDonald’s in the city in an attempt to collect each piece of the Inspector Gadget toy that was coming with Happy Meals. If his work and career did not speak enough to his persistence and dedication, this day alone would. He was driving around NYC with a 6 year old, who knows how many times we had to stop to get gas and I recall that while it was only an 8 piece set, there were 2 pieces that we could not find anywhere! I don’t remember if this adventure was prompted by him or me, but either way it was an adventure that would not end until it was complete. His rise to stardom at SSA did not start or end there, it’s natural and it’s embedded deep in his heart. He has an instinctual desire to finish a task and that day he taught me the value of completion. Nothing is done until it’s done.

I’d say I had an unhealthy obsession with HotWheels as a kid. I would line them up in order of my favorites and would know and throw a fit if someone moved them (someone would be my Dad). If my friends didn’t get me a new car for my birthday or Christmas I knew we weren’t true friends. Along with EasyBake ovens and life-size Barbie dolls, I’d ask for HotWheels track sets every year - odd girl, I know. While you’d think I’d take the most joy in setting up these monstrous tracks and racing the cars on them as fast as they’d go, no one took more joy than my Father. I can recall Christmas afternoons where he’d fake gently move me out the way so he can set up the track. The easy lesson here: If you want something done right, do it yourself.

That last lesson never came without a bit on the value of delegation - because it’s certainly more important to work smarter, rather than harder. I was privileged (read: spoiled) to have my Dad do me the great favor of picking me up and dropping me off to school in Boston for the first 2 1/4 years. I would say the rides were filled with great laughs and snacks and music, but that would be a lie. I slept like a baby every single time...UNTIL! I heard these dreaded words, “You’re driving.” WHET?! By this time he knew exactly how to get from Northeastern University to Mount Vernon, NY without Google Maps and he instructed me by memory the whole way back. We got to exit 62 on 15, our exit is 12. That entire part of the ride is only two lanes. I knew we had 50 exits to go, but he thought I didn’t. #1: Never provide more information than what’s necessary. This ride was filled with great laughs and music, but never snacks - Wilder’s (and now Middleton’s) don’t stop. It was also filled with tips like be aware, always trail behind the person going much faster than you, if you are going 70 you should be 7 cars away from the person in front of you and when possible stay in the middle lane where you can avoid an accident from either side. Take from that what you will…I, HE, WE JUST DROPPED GEMS!

There are so many more, but I’ll end with the most important lesson my Dad ever taught me: Family comes first. He used to take me on dates to Jackson Hole, just he and I. Now, he’ll call me up to ask if I’m busy and want to go to breakfast or take a ride to where ever, usually Home Depot. Jackson Hole holds a special place in my heart as our spot, but it wasn’t simply those memories that taught me this lesson. When he started the Senior Executive Leadership Program, he had to spend time in classes at Harvard and then work for a while in Baltimore at SSA’s Headquarters. He never spent a weekend away from home. The single time I can remember he did, it featured our family trip to him, where we frolicked around D.C. from the White House, dubbed that day the small House, to the National Spy Museum. He never wanted us to feel like he wasn’t there, and we never did. To be faithful to work is one thing, but to be faithful to family is invaluable.

So, I say all that to say...I could beg God to make me as smart as you. You’re a genius, and that’s no exaggeration of the word. I’m unsure if it’s the dictionary reading, the crossword puzzles or the 100 games of solitaire per day, but whatever it is, it’s real. You are intelligent, masterfully articulate, uncommonly decisive and shamelessly authentic. Thank you for being a profound example of hard work. I’ve never once heard you complain - but then again I couldn’t understand all the acronyms and numbers you and Ma talked in every night over dinner, I’ll take the educated guess however that you weren’t complaining based on your tone. Thank you for teaching me the importance of an ever expanding vocabulary and the ability to use it properly - verbally and written. Thank you for always being honest, to the point where lies are completely unexpected from you because you’re going to say what you feel even if it stings a little. Thank you for loving your family enough to dedicate yourself to anything for 38 years and push all the way to the top. Thank you for being you. You’ve never been anything less than an outstanding father. I know SSA is glad to have you back and to know you as advisor, boss, colleague, but I’m grateful that I know you as Daddy.

Congrats B-Man!