What if Your Gifts Don't Make Sense?

First of all, I forget, sometimes, that gifts are from God. Furthermore, I forget they're not for me, or even for the people who get to experience them; they are for Him and His glory. 

I forget, sometimes, that it doesn't matter if I'm confused about what my life is doing or where I'm going. While I absolutely, positively need a plan and need the motivation to execute that plan, if that plan isn't in God's will (and if I haven't checked), plans are futile. 

This blog post comes, like all the others, with the prayerful hope to inspire someone. Someone who forgets, someone who's confused, someone who feels like their plans are useless. 

I applied to Northeastern University as a neuroscience major. My hope was to become a doctor, but I didn't want to be completely pre-med, because of an interest in the brain and psychology. After my first hair show, I decided I wanted to be a salon owner. So, I switched my major to Business Management and Marketing and minored in Psychology-because, I figured, it's good to know what people are thinking or how to find out what they're thinking if you want to run a successful business. I graduated, worked at Grettacole Salon + Spa in Boston, as a Marketing Strategist (how fortuitous). But, I was unfulfilled. So, The Words I Didn't Listen To (and I said I wouldn't write anymore). I learned through all my management, organizational business and leadership classes, PLUS from experience, that it is difficult to successfully lead without knowing what your employees know. So, Empire Beauty School. I love hair, I love touching hair, I love learning about hair, hair cutting, hair color, love love love.  But, it wasn't enough. So, IKIGAI. IKIGAI really digs into the brain and how we understand and process love. I even admit, if I had the opportunity to live another life, I would study love, almost like a...neuroscientist. 

I plan to write more books, and get better at writing, I plan to do more hair, and get better at styling, I plan to go back to school, for both, and business. I plan to open a salon. I plan to get a doctorate. And, yes, Kev and I plan to have kids. 

In my mind, NONE OF THAT MAKES SENSE. 

I know it doesn't to you! It can't. If it does, please message me and connect these good dots!!! 

I start to think things like, "Did I make the wrong choice?", "Should I have gone with my gut in the first place?", "Did I waste my time?", "Did I waste my money?", or worse, "Did I waste my parents' money?", "Is this even for me?", "Am I bugging?". 

I've done hair twice in the past 48 hours, which is more than I've done in that time frame since before moving back to NY (outside of my wedding day - yes I did hair for my wedding - yes I wanted to!).  One client wanted jumbo braids, the other a color (from an orange-red-brown to an all over dark brown) and a hair cut (the first in a year). Both, were overjoyed with the results, but I'm positive, not more overwhelmed than me. I'd thought maybe I lost it, maybe I wasn't supposed to be doing hair, maybe I should focus on other things. But, I was reminded. 

And E V E R Y time I write, I'm reminded. 

I AM GIFTED. I am gifted to do hair. I am gifted to write. EQUALLY. The two don't make sense in my mind, but I am convinced they do not have to. God has a plan for my gifts, He wouldn't have trusted them both with me otherwise. It's not easy and I promise I am confused, but I have a sketch of a plan and I am trusting a good, all-knowing God. 

So, for anyone with a hobby completely outside the likes of their day job, anyone with a side hustle the exact opposite of what you went to school for, anyone who is good at a bunch of things and can't figure out why and how to manage, focus on it all! There is time. There is opportunity. Continue your education. Get that license. Start that team. Build that thing. It's worth it, especially if you remember that God gave it to you and anything (and only things) you give back to Him, will prevail. 

“Worthy are you, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created.”
Revelation 4:11 ESV