My Lady of Miracles - A Tribute to the Life, Legacy and Love of Mary Ford

Hail Mary
Full of Grace 
The Lord is with you
Blessed are you among women
And blessed is the fruit of your womb…

Mary, the mother of Jesus, goes by more than a few names - mother for the journey, queen of all saints, our lady of mercy, and so on. 

but you, Mary Ford, are my lady of miracles. 

the obvious reason you’re the miracle lady is because 18 years ago you were told you had 3 months to live. and not only did you win that battle with cancer — it wanted another round, you fought and won again. you defied all the odds when it came to your health, even down to your final days. you had an unexplainable will to live and your resilience gave me hope, your faith inspired mine. I believe Jesus can do anything because of you. and even with that, there are still so many more ways you’ve helped me believe in miracles. 

a miracle is a surprising and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is therefore considered to be the work of a divine agency

surprising 

the miracle of style wasn’t that you had it all together - cause that you did. it was the surprise that a woman almost 50 years my senior would always pick out outfits that I would prefer over my own mother. they were more (much more - sorry, ma 🤣) stylish, trendy and comfortable. the miracle was that no matter how old school you were, you were even more relevant. the miracle was the surprise of your timelessness. 

welcome

the miracle of welcome, others may call the ministry of hospitality. again, was really no miracle at all, it was the way of your mother and aunts, that you’ve passed on to my mother and i. we cook and host and serve and love, it’s what you did and it’s what you taught by doing. but you weren’t best known to me by welcoming people into your home, to me, it was how you welcomed my friends into your car - all the time, going near and far, in and out of the way, day by day. you treated bratty teenage girls the same way you treated (brat…never mind😂) grown people — with respect, love, and care. they’d hop in and scream “hey grandma mary, can you take me home please?,” and you would, from friends in 6th grade to friends in 12th - you’d always welcome them into that blue benz or maroon boat cadillac or black ford with open arms (and a heavy foot). 

event 

the miracle of presence was yours. not only was there never a single event of mine that you missed, but you were also present for everyone else’s. if you were invited, you were there and no one knows better than chey who had the pleasure of getting you there after we finally stole your car keys from you. you made it to every event with grace and joy. I mean, every party, graduation, recital, show, prom, launch, baptism, shower, christening, cookout, reunion, service, anniversary, retirement, and funeral. you never missed a beat. 

not explicable // inexplicable 

the miracle of speed; specifically, speed reading and mathematics. you owned the gifts of study, understanding, analysis, and explanation. the day after you got my first book, you called me, early in the morning and questioned me down about what I wrote from cover to cover, told me what you enjoyed, and critiqued what you felt needed critiquing (glad to know where I get it from). you taught me the 9x tables better than any math teacher I ever had and you couldn’t stand when I didn’t know the final marked-down price of anything at 35%, 45%, 65%, or any other percentage off. you’d tell me, every single time, how “not that hard” it is and say “come on, dom! you just…” and would run off exactly how to do it. you had an inexplicably smart mind. 

natural 

the miracle of travel — black women who travel. you made journeys across the country and throughout continents look natural at a time when it wasn’t. you’d tell me stories of how you’d been asked if you were supposed to be in your first-class seat. you’d reminisce of your times in russia, brazil, and the caymans. you used the word “danke” (thank you in german) casually. i’m forced to acknowledge now that my love for travel comes from you — that you made sure I had a passport and you took me on my first trip across the border. that when I made plans to visit europe on my last round, I didn’t realize then, that I was trying to travel in your footsteps — you put stockholm and copenhagen on the map for me, so I had to see for myself. sweden is one of my favorite places on earth, danke to you. 

scientific 

the miracle of shattering glass ceilings without a scratch. i’m proud to be part of your legacy, to say my grandmother was a trendsetter and trailblazer in information technology. to know that you made pathways for women in tech, especially black women, especially women who hold so much knowledge that they’re tasked with instructing. to understand that your scientific intelligence broke ground for some of my most successful cousins. to watch the example of outstanding career woman, outstanding mother, outstanding grandmother, outstanding daughter, outstanding sister, outstanding aunt, outstanding cousin, outstanding friend, and outstanding faith. to know that science can’t explain how you did it all, but you did.

laws

the miracle of law-breaking and rule-following at the same time. you didn’t believe in speed limits. it only took about 10 mins to get me to school, but the hutch wasn’t ready at near sunrise for your foot on that pedal. sure, you did always have somewhere to go, and maybe I enjoyed the thrill sometimes, but did you really have to go that fast? 🤣 I can’t say I didn’t pick this up a bit, especially after I really got the hang of driving—i’m definitely blaming that on you. the rules you followed were also rules you passed down, like etiquette. you taught me how to appropriately twirl pasta on a spoon, where to place dinnerware, five ways to fold a napkin, how to use chopsticks and what not to do on a date (and if I had to do it, don’t go on a second).

considered 

the miracle of the things that come out of hard times. your cancer diagnosis solidified two things for me (1) I wanted to be a doctor and (2) I wanted to get a cosmetology license. I don’t know how my high school brain thought I could do both, but luckily hating anatomy and physiology class in my senior year easily kicked me into reality on that doctor idea 😂. but that was after i’d already written and sent my applications. and when I considered my major and considered schools, I considered you. my college essay was about you, about how your pain drew out my passions, how I desired strength and zest like yours, how amazing you are, how inspired I am by you, and how I am committed to doing work that helps others to survive. I won’t be a doctor, but I will help to improve lives - just like you. 

work 

the miracle of making it look easy. the older I get, the more I know that what you and y’all made look easy, likely wasn’t. work was hard, life was hard, people are hard, and things got hard. but, regardless of life, living and work, working, you always made time for family. of all the things you’ve taught me, that’s the greatest one, nothing matters more than family. you made me feel like nothing else mattered when we were together, I felt completely safe, protected, loved, and myself with you. I have memories that could fill books because you prioritized family—and so will I. 

divine agency  

the miracle of faith. you had it, undeniably. and without a doubt, you helped me to believe in the same divine agency that you trusted in. if you could hold on, smile, laugh, and joke with all that you’d been through, so could I. the God of victory has kept you, and you’re more victorious now than ever—and with all the victories you’ve had here, that is a miracle. 

Mary Ford, you are the example of pride and confidence. you knew without a shadow of a doubt that you were that girl, and it was true. not only can you rest, I know you are resting. we got mommy, the very way you had her and she had you; I know you are pleased with her beyond measure, so are we. I love you so, so much. forever, my girl. forever, my grandma. 

Hail Mary, 

Full of Grace; 

You are with the Lord.